Monthly Archives: June 2016

Many Thanks

  • For photos of this morning’s events, click here.
  • For access to a video of the celebration, click here.

Dear 5R Parents,

Thank you for being at the celebration this morning and for all your lovely, kind words after the ceremony. Thank you also for the lovely gifts and sending along all the treats for the class to share. I so appreciate your thoughtfulness and all the support you have shown me throughout the year. I truly will miss this remarkable group of students!

Would you believe that when we got back to class, the first thing the students wanted to do was a full class dance party?

As we head off for the holidays, I’d like, in particular, so send special wishes with Oliver, Haya, Evelina, Emanuele, Amelia, Max and Krish as they prepare to start brand new chapters in their lives beyond ZIS. Keep in touch with us! To the rest of you, good luck for middle school! I can’t wait to see you around and to hear all your stories.

I wish all of you and your families a safe, relaxing, happy vacation!

With Gratitude,

Jamie

Child Protection – Session 3

The theme of today’s session on child protection was secrets, who to talk to, and what secrets should never be kept.

Ms Jill began by reading the book: Some Secrets Should Never be Kept, a story written to help keep kids safe from sexual abuse.

What secrets should never be kept?

  • Secrets that make you feel uncomfortable or bad.
  • Secrets like someone saying “never tell your parents about this…”

How do a lot of children feel when they are abused?

  • ashamed, guilty, frightened, worried, nervous etc.
  • many children are threatened with consequences by an abuser if they tell anyone.
  • as a consequence they feel worried about how them telling what happened will impact others.

Ms Jill discussed how it is against the law for an adult to touch a child’s private parts, have the child touch their private parts, or take inappropriate or naked photos of children. Several children shared stories of when people had taken photos of them that made them uncomfortable (though none of these were clearly abusive).

The conversation then went to the subject of “What happens to an adult who is doing something abusive to children?” Ms Jill told a story about working at a previous school where a 4th grade girl came to her after a session and shared that she was being sexually abused at home. Ms Jill shared that after being told this, she was legally required to contact the police, who then had to hear the story directly from the girl, prior to arresting the adult who was abusing her. The girl stayed with other family members for some time, the girl was protected and the adult who was abusing her was removed from the situation.

Eventually the discussion went towards how despite all of these very scary things that do happen, these things happen very very rarely and these discussions are not designed to make people fearful. These discussions are just designed to help us know what to do, how to be safe, in these really difficult, very frightening, but thankfully very rare, situations.

In discussing photos of naked children, Ms Jill made the distinction between photos of children that are innocent, like baby pictures in the bath, and those that are harmful, that are of older children, or just feel like they’re not a good thing. Students were instructed that if they come across pictures that are inappropriate of naked children, while online or anywhere, they need to tell an adult they trust, so that the children can be protected.

Finally, we discussed who you could tell if you came across something wrong, or something wrong happened to you. We discussed the concept of three circles of trust. People who to turn to first, the closest people who you would tell if you could, others you could turn to if the first people weren’t options or didn’t believe you, and a third circle of who you could turn to if the first two groups weren’t options.

This session concludes this series of lessons.

Child Protection Session #2

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Today Ms Jill returned to our class for our second Child Protection session. The focus of today’s session was touch. She approached the discussion by dividing touch into four categories: Safe, Unsafe, Wanted and Unwanted.

These she defined as:

  • Unsafe: Touch that can be hurtful, kicking, pushing etc., as well as touching of private body parts.
  • Safe: Touch that won’t be hurtful, and isn’t threatening. 
  • Wanted: Touch that feels good and respectful. Both the toucher and the touched are comfortable with this.
  • Unwanted: Touch that you don’t want. It might not be ill intended, but you don’t want it, like too much tickling or affection in a way that feels uncomfortable.

Most touches, she stated, were safe and wanted. Touch, in fact is a basic human need. We read the book “My Body is Private“. She made the analogous comparison to the privacy of communications: mail, chats etc. We spoke about different privacy expectations in different homes, regarding closed doors, knocking and more. She introduced some correct vocabulary for private body parts, including breasts, penis, vagina and bottom, so that we could all discuss things accurately when necessary. Then she introduced the Touching Rule.

The Touching Rule: No one should touch your private body parts except to keep you clean and healthy.

In our school, the rule with any kind of touching is: if someone says “stop” or “no”, the person doing the touching must stop immediately. You get to say how and when people are allowed to touch you.

In response to a question about Unsafe/Unwanted touch, Ms Jill introduced some safety steps.

  1. Say words that mean NO
  2. Get away
  3. Tell an adult

Some students shared stories where they felt uncomfortable in interactions with strangers. We then discussed our “gut feelings”, trusting our impulses when we’re uncomfortable, and erring on the side of caution when we don’t know someone’s intentions. Some families, Ms Jill said, have a “safe word”, a word that signifies to all members of the family that a message being communicated is real, and a person is to be trusted.